Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Mother's Instinct

I think as a little girl everyone wants to grow up and be the best mom ever.  You carry your babydolls around everywhere you go.  You love to play with little babies.  It just comes natural to a girl.  I guess that's the reason why God made us.  He wanted us women to take care of and nurture little ones. 

I don't think some of you realize how much I already am a mom.  When I first met my wonderful other half, he told me he had a 4 year old daughter.  I was excited and I was nervous at the same time.  I had never dated a guy that had  child. This relationship was all so new to me. I will never forget the first day I met Lilly.  She had her little pigtails in and a huge smile on her face.  Hearing what she has been through, which is nothing to get into on my blog, it broke my heart.  It made me want to give her the world. 

As our relationship continued, I didn't realize how much of a mom figure I would be to her.  I never expected her to call me mommy, and I never will expect that of her.  It is totally her decision.  Of course having a child and having a fresh new relationship can be hard to juggle.  Brad and I got through it though... together.  I think that doing this and raising Lilly together has made our relationship stronger.  She is the light of my life and I wouldn't trade this life for anything in the world.  She brightens up my day with everything she says and everything she does.  Hearing "Lindsey, you're the greatest.."  is the best thing that I can hear.  Asking if I can be called "mommy" is even better.  I never expected my life to be the way it is right now.  Everyone who knows the situation that I have been in before knew it was awful.  I never thought I would be back to my old self.  I never thought that I would have anyone care for me as much as Lilly and as much as Brad does.  I even have another little one that will be coming soon and our family will be complete.  I know I'm not Lilly's biological mother, but I am her mother.  And always will be....

I love you baby girl! :)

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